Graphite as my current medium

So I had a few extra minutes to write a quick note and I thought to myself... self, you should write about graphite. Then there was this back and forth in my head abut why I should / not  write about it. That part my therapist will have to work on, but as for you guys, I did decide to write about it. so here goes.
About a year ago I decided to start doing a few drawings in pencil and see how it went. It was a sort of back to my roots thing, and I really wanted to see what would be different now as compared to the last time I had dedicated some time to pencil work. (It was back in college... lets say just a few years ago...ok, about 16 - 18 years... sheesh you dont have to be pushy about it;)   ) Well I found that I was really enjoying working with pencil and then had to start finding things to draw. In this past year I finished about 30 pencil pieces all ranging in size from 4x6 to 9x12" . It has been a to really concentrate on the medium and try to fine tune it, to work toward a mastery of graphite. The process of where to lay each line, how dark or light, what type and brand gives the best effect for me. So far it has been a fantastic, painstaking, at times frustrating journey, and I do not see it ending soon. I have a long way to go before I feel that I have mastered the pencil and can tame it to do my will, but I look forward to moving forward toward that goal.
I have a friend ( no, really, I have a friend!) who commented that graphite was my "soul-medium". I appreciate that comment, and hope to continue to make wonderful works of art in this medium for some time. (I also don't think I ever thanked her for getting my now wife to drunk dial me many years ago... Thanks Cin, Jane and I both appreciate it.)
I will just end with one of my recent pieces, it is of my Daughter and her dog Ahab. Getting the likeness just right and playing with all of the textures kicked my ass, but I did manage to come up with a final piece I can live with. (In my mind I could work more on every piece, but there comes a point where every artist has to call it finished) So, thanks for listening to me rant on. Have a great day, and please let me know you are listening. (figuratively) ;)

The pen is mightier than the sword, but what about the pencil?

This morning I would like to chat with you for a few minutes about me and my relationship with my art career. I guess I should start with...{Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction. In a workplace setting, sabotage is the conscious withdrawal of efficiency generally directed at causing some change in workplace conditions.} This was the wiki entry for sabotage. This is how I often feel I do sub-consciously to my art career. At times I feel I am not pushing it far or fast enough. Often I find myself questioning why I haven't contacted this or that gallery, or why  I haven't sent off information or a portfolio to certain publications... even the local paper which runs a section on local artists and does a spotlight where they do an article on 1 artist a week. It is very frustrating when I think about it, that I am the one who is holding myself back. I do know that is is very difficult to put yourself out there, as all artists are trying to create from some emotional spot inside themselves, and the fear of having someone tear that physical manifestation of your emotions apart verbally can be petrifying. The problem is however that not acting or moving, is still an action, just not in a direction that will be helpful. So here I sit musing and writing about not moving in the right direction while I should be creating. Ha... amusing.
OK well I better be off, I have a lot to accomplish and I really want to move in the right direction. Thanks for listening.
Oh, and a quick question... am I the only one who feels this way??? Inquiring monsters want to know.
-Brian

Disclaimer...

OK, well, I am new at this so please be gentil with me. but I do think I should start out with a disclaimer. I am not always polite, courteous, kind, civil, silver tongued, or correct. As some of you may or may not know, I can be grouchy, vulgar, profane, moody, and just all around pig-ish and not pleasant to be around. The link to my blog will be circulated and hopefully will be read by at least a few of you, however if you are easily offended, want to keep a good image of me, are family, or gets irritated at some one who will speak their mind and will often times be... well, myself, please stop reading now. Go no further. Do not read the next blog thinking it will change. I am hoping to use this outlet to reach out to people and tell them about my art and my life. An un-censored look at who I am and what I create... I will be posting at times about the process I used, or why I picked a particular subject. Your job in all of this, yes, you have a job here too, is to let me know what you think. Agree or disagree, I want to know. Ask questions, I will do my best to answer all of them, as I want there to be a camaraderie between us, and I want to reach out and try to help you understand and appreciate what I am doing.
      If you are still reading, well welcome to this new journey and hang on I'm sure it will be interesting to say the least!